Three Little Flies

Once upon a time, there were three flies flying in the sky. One is a Half-blood pretending to be whole, the other assumed that she was a princess from a far away kingdom and the last of them was a blabber-mouth backstabber.

The Trio flew so high and mighty but in reality they just flew less than 3 ft high. they swirl around and 'round watching envious at the majestic Bee.They were pious and wise and thought they could trample even the birds that soar high. But they were no match on the Humble Bee, they swear they would surpass his abilities. So instead of buzzing they hum ridiculously. They thought they were the Gods of heavens but they're just the Lord of the Flies. 

When everything fails they destroyed the things that are important to Bee.So they went to the garden and start wrecking havoc on the helpless lovely flowers and they try to suck the life out of it. But the flowers spread their pollen and drove the pesky flies away. The Bee remains silent because he's educated and will not stoop down on their level and he isn't the type of a bee who can easily be provoked. So instead of leaving the flowers he helped them recovered and bloom again.

Poor three little flies, so pious and wise,they swear they'll get revenge on Bee and his flowers but for now they must retreat. They hate to admit it but their plans have failed. well its never too late to accept that there are things that they cannot control. I pity them, such is the power of knowledge that it can turn you heartless and insensitive.

Three little flies, flying high again straight into their favorite stinky place and wished they'd stayed to the far away kingdom they once claimed as their home.

Nasty Niece

One fine Sunday afternoon, my brother and his chubby daughter went to visit our house. The little girl was sleeping when they came so my brother told me to watch over her while he goes out shopping for some toiletries.

"And she when wakes up?", I asked.
"Just give her some milk, I'll be back as soon as I can."

Then I sat near her, I carefully brushed aside her hair and pinched her chubby cheeks. It's a wonder to see how a child sleeps. So peaceful and innocent, it makes you think back about the time when you were at her age. Did anyone care for you while you were crying loud until you fall asleep? Such is a sweet and soothing feeling a child could give when they are at your side.

It did not take long before I fell asleep too, and probably it's the biggest mistake I've ever done. I was awakened by a solid slap on my face. When I opened
my eyes, my chubby little niece is crying so hard, I tried to comfort her and give her the milk my brother told me. To my surprise, she did not take it. Instead, she continued to cry and called her "papa" while kicking her feet vigorously. So I got up, put her in my arms and tried to stop her weeping. But she punched me at my face and screamed so loud. She waved hand gestures with her forefinger pointing sideways. She wanted to go out and wait for her dad outside the house. Since I don't have any choice, I put her down and we started walking outside. She doesn't want anyone go near her so she continuously pushed my arms and threatened me that she'll burst into another scream if I get near her.

So here I was, walking at the left side of that girl and everytime some vehicles would pass us by, she would wave her hand and said "papa...papa". I don't know if I' m stupid or what. As I replied to her pleading "oh dear that's not your daddy, that's a monkey !" but I guess a two year old girl wouldn't understand what i'm saying. She doesn't have any idea about my sense of humor because her mind is still pure.

One thing I've noticed is that while walking with her, I tried to hold her hand while I'm at her back so that she wouldn't see my face and she would take my hand mistakenly assuming that it was her father's fingers holding her. For a moment, she was silent and felt secured. That gave me a relief and told her that we need to get back inside the house. Then she began to cry again. Her sweet smile turned in an instant to a horrifying scream. I am not a patient guy so I took her up to carry her home while she was crying, punching and kicking my arms and face. She weigh at least 50 lbs ( heavy for short) and I'm almost out of breath just by carrying her. She was telling me "Anjen... anjen (I guess what she mean is he's there)" while pointing her finger at my back telling me to go back to where I picked her up. When we reached our house, I put her down and wouldn't let her go out again. It's a battle between an ear-piercing scream and a hard headed uncle. When she knew she couldn't beat me and maybe ran out of energy so she just sat down sulking, closed her eyes and slept.

I just laughed at the simplicity of a child's need. In a moment, they were peaceful and then they'll cause havoc on any adults just by the simple tears on their eyes. They could be funny, smiling and loveable but they could be irritating, messy and loud. Simple needs such as comfort from their parents were imprinted in them that they could differentiate the difference between her father and her uncle, her mother to her Auntie, and to anyone whom she doesn't recognized. Maybe there was an internal bond between child and parents that was formed when the day the baby was taken out of their mother's womb. I guess there's nothing that can compare to parental love they could give towards their child. That might be the explanation why she had hold my hand when she mistakenly took it as her father's. On the other hand, we were also like my niece, there are moments in our lives that we felt alone and left behind by our loved ones, heart broken from our romantic relationships, troubled past, and failures. These will result to self pity, remorse and miserable lives. But apart from all of these, just as we thought that there's nobody around in this cursed world could ever understand us, there's a shadow of a man who walks with us. Though may not be visible but still walking by our side extending His Hands to comfort us. All we have to do is to trust Him, take His hands and have faith.

Again, I was awakened by a hard slap on the face. Apparently, I too have fallen asleep after the rigorous tug of war with my niece. I opened my eyes and saw her smiling at me with my brother on her back. She was waving goodbye to me and she woke me up to let me know they are leaving. At the whisper of my brother to her ear, she quickly went near me to hug me tight, kiss me on the cheek and said "blah-bly" (bye-bye) then she ran towards her father's side to hold his arms, turn around and leave.

I closed my eyes and went back to sleep with a smile on my face.

 

Lovely face of my cute niece :-)

Trapped !

While in the mall doing nothing, I've felt an urge to let my half-brother join in the fun. So I went to the nearest secluded place for me to say "hi" to them. The room is bigger than ours back home; they've got a lot of cubicle, urinals and "oh-my-is-that-a-lavatory?" complete with soap, hand sanitizer, hand drying machine and aroma candle. One thing I've noticed was the door has a security locking device, but I didn't pay any attention to it. I chose the farthest cubicle so that when I let it out, I won’t bother anyone.

After I let down my pants, the first thing I did was to sanitize the air with my sweet stinky fart, and then came out my first half brother "Pee" followed by "Poop". It didn’t take long for me to take the tissue and wipe my cute "dimple below" and I said goodbye to them and pulled my jeans up before flushing them away. I washed my hands and dried it but the room is too quiet. There's only me and my image smiling back. Then, I've noticed that the room is locked! Well, I hate to admit it but I really panicked for awhile in there. I screamed for help and some nasty thoughts ran into my head. It’s such bad luck to be stuck in this stinky place, why didn't I get trapped in the elevator with some hot girls or in an island with lots of food. Why in this stupid place? It took all my strength to try to unlock the system but I failed. So I just sat down on the throne sulking and thinking other things while savoring the smell of my own fragrance.

Then I've realized that my mind is too preoccupied with lots of unimportant things. I've been chasing things that I couldn't get no matter how hard I try. I began to assess what I want and what I should need. With that, my mind had an epiphany, "I should stop chasing other people’s dreams and start walking on my own path that someone prepared for me. So I got up and made a one last push from the security door. Suddenly it opened! I quickly got out from there and let a big smile on my face. It really is strange when someone whose life is on the rush will turn upside down after having an encounter just like that. An event in our lives where we quietly reflect on the things we have done and the plans we have drawn for our future while all we need to do is to sit back, relax and wait patiently.

I guess should thank the mall administrator for installing that device. Somehow I've got a better perception in my life. So I decided to go home when suddenly the lights and music turned off. Emergency lights were bursting everywhere and again, nobody is on my sight. I checked my watch and it said it’s already 11:30 pm. I let out a loud scream again out of frustration. I guess my life reflection isn't over yet.

Brunelleschi's Legacy

  One rainy day when i got home from my usual school day. I saw my mother sitting quietly. I asked her "hey mom what's cooki'n?." She mistakenly thought of it as some sort of household chores and replied " Oh dear i haven't cook anything yet." I just frowned and went to bed to sulk. Why mothers too old not to get those simple pick-up lines?. After an hour of sleep i went to the kitchen hoping to find some "real food" to eat. to my surprise, my mother is still in the corner but this time instead of staring at the blank wall she sobs on her hanky."Mom, what's wrong?" I asked. Upon hearing my voice she cried hard enough to let the whole town heard her whining."Benjamin," she said. I felt shiver in my guts usually when my mom calls me on my full name it means danger or lay-on-your-belly-with-your-butt-raised-high."hey i know school is rough this days, but i'll promise i get better in exams so you don't need to worry." She just smiled and sniffed." I have to go, can you come with me?". now I'm totally confused "Err sure mom, whatever you say".

  So off we went to the unknown in the unholy hour of the night. we took turns a few lefts and half rights then straight towards hell, I mean hospital. "Mom what are we doing here? are you sick or something?"This time she just stay silent. We entered the Hospital and asked for a direction i just thought we would visit some sick folks or my mom's medical check-up and annual medication. we go down to level below the reception area and entered the dark and cold room called Morgue.

This time my mom begins to asked irritating questions. "Benjamin" ( please mom not in this spooky room. I wont show my butt with the deceased.) "How well do you know your father?" I smirked "huh, do i have one? never met him or never cared to meet him." I lied. My mom asked the nurse in charge and asked for a name. " "Mr. But'tole please." the nurse look at my mother suspiciously."Sorry only relatives are allowed to enter". "I'm his err Wife and this little boy ( i get it mom i little but im not a boy) is his child." she insisted. The nurse made a convincing look " Come in, box no 255 I'll let my assistant accompanied you."

"Benjamin" (mom its the third time) Fifteen years ago I have a friend who saved me from a heart broken relationship. He was Gay yet he stood more than any other man could ever done. He was my bestfriend, my brother and my husband".(mom i already knew that). She stop as the assistant went to pull the large drawer with a sign Box 255 I've noticed that the room is cold like a giant freezer. cool with eerie ambiance i wonder if their airconditioned facilities would fit in my room. My mom continued to narrate their love story "We got drunk and we cursed the heavens for letting us be "the neglected child" of God He was broke and got fired on his job while i was recuperating from the abused made by my my own uncle, I dont know how it happened but we made out that night. And then the inevitable tragedy happened. One night i was assaulted again by my demon relative I cried so hard and try to fight back while He's abusing me. i grasped something in the dark and smashed it on his head. that Devil stopped and fall on my knees. I ran as fast as i could i dont care if i had been half naked in the street, i just want to go as far as i could to hide and to disappear. I called  your father to ask for help and Bruno came to comfort me. Later that day, the police are after me for my crime they found out that my uncle was dead. and on the crime scene they've found out the picture of Bruno on the floor. Your father gave it to me when we had our usual hang-outs. it must have been fell off my pouch when that monster assaulted me." My mom stop for a while to wipe his teary eyes. before he continue. Then Bruno told me to hide he gave me his savings to go back to the province and He'll fixed everything. I did what he instructed me but I didnt know what plans he had in mind. Soon I become pregnant at you.I was confused if  the child I'm bearing was the fruit of that Devil  or that to him, the kindest person I've ever met. I was tempted to go with an abortion, but i opted to raised the child (wait mom, was i an option?). and when you were born, ( yeah that part i knew well -in the comfort of the toilet bowl) I knew that you were His son (ah huh, whose child I am?) you had the same lips and cheeky face you were Bruno's son ( Oh well i guessed I'd settle to be the Son of Misfortune rather than called as the Son of the Devil)."

"So I went back to the city to look for your father it was then that i learned that he was in Prison. Apparently He admitted the crime that I have done, he just confessed false accusations as his motives to kill him. He was sentenced for a lifetime imprisonment and later pardoned as the review of his case found him innocent.I always visited him and even bring you along. He cried the first time he saw you. He hugged you tight, and kissed you everywhere ( oh no! Mom, dont tell me he even  kissed my "bee" part) but when you turned 5 years old he told me that it is best if I didnt bring you there. He just want the best for you, He doesnt want you to grow up and get bullied that your father was a Gay, a murderer, a Criminal. He doesnt want to be hated most specially by you. Neither did he cant stand that you'll be hated because of him. He wished that I would tell you the truth when he was dead so that he wont see your disappointment towards his misfortune. that is why Benjamin I beg you,  the man inside that box is waiting for you and longing for your love, just a touch on his remains is all he wanted from you." my Mom turned away from me, and talked with the mortician.

I walk towards the cadaver,it was made in stainless steel and  it was colder than ice. I noticed the number on the cadaver front box 255 if I would transposed it to a alphabetical letters, it would be read as B-E-E. I looked closely to the deceased he was about on his early fifty years and still have false eyelashes. then I've noticed on his chest closed to his heart a tattoo of a bug. in stripes and sting below with a wide smiling lips and big teeth. and i was amazed at what a happy Bee it was. Then slowly i extend my arm towards the tattoo and touched it. my hands shivered as i begin to sniff and hot tears rolled into my eyes. I' bowed down touch his pale face and wept as hard as i could, harder than my mom louder than the rage of the pouring rain. My mom touched my back and pulled me out she said it's time to go. She touched my father and made a final kiss on his cheek and whisper in his ear "thank you" then we went out of the room, I made a  last turned before the embalmer cut that beloved body into two for the embalming process.

We walk directly outside the hospital towards the streets. As we journey yet again to another building where the a tower is in front. The sound of a lonely voice of the bell is inviting us to come over."Benjamin" she said " can you come with me inside?" that was the first time I ever heard my mother's sweet voice calling my name. For the first time i didn't feel the panic on my guts and I never bother to show off my butt. I took her hand, hold it tight as i say to my mom " lets go Mom and let us pray for father's journey back home".

Fourth Target : The Geeks, the Nerds & Two-faced scums

  What is the difference between Geek & Nerd, although they look and act the same, i think Geek is more intelligent than the Nerd, while Nerd are born with more potential in charismatic appeal. Both of them may or may not have higher I.Q than the rest but they still stand-out in class. They are very useful in exams, researches and group works.I befriended them to able to get how on earth they've got that out of this earth intelligence.Now the Two-faced scums are those who smiles at you when you face them and stabbed you when you dont.Sadly the two faced scums has lots schemes of for those geeks and nerds, they would say that they will be their friends just to let their homeworks done by those pure geniuses. After they get what they want from them, they'll just disappear from their circle of friendship.

  Geeks and Nerds though gifted with charm & intelligence are emotionally & physically weak they need someone to hold on to. that's why those sons of bisexual horses take advantage on that kind of role for them. but somehow i stood by the geek and nerd sides. Well not because i was born by a bisexual pony but because i needed their prowess, their charm and strategic plans for my glory.

But i never thought that those bunch of weaklings would still choose those who show fake compassion rather than the truthful vulgar concerns for them. for they'll pitied themselves when other people mock their inability to stand strong and fight. So i left them with their scoundrels & hope someday they'll use their mind's gift to disintegrate those who ridicule their reputation.

  Whew, classic naivety from the people with an extra ordinary gift.

Third Target : Dirty Harry and the Half-Blood Mongrels

 Politics is the one category that I hate to be involved with. As the saying goes that "Politics is Dirty", it is just the same with those people who engage in it. During high school, students were already exposed in this kind of system. They have the student body organization or the (lucky me) Supreme (noodles) Student Council as the sole representative of every student voice. The process is somewhat patterned with our government political system. Free & democratic countries have the right to vote & elect any eligible candidate for the government position they are dreaming of, even if all they do is lying and making untruthful promises to the Masses. After they get elected, they'll just steal our taxes and have an all-paid travel expenses on every part of the world, including their families and pets.

So I made up my mind to participate on this year's candidacy for the position befitted for a soon-to-be king like me. I have started the campaign against my rival for presidency, whom I would like to refer to as "Dirty Harry & His Hounds". He was the son of our long-term District Governor "Filthy Henry" in which he was in the seat of power long before I was born. His half blood mongrels are always alert to any threat on their master’s life. Like a half breed savage canine, they howl, causing fear on every student to forcefully vote that idiot Harry. But I did not lose heart. If he has "kennel of street mongrels" I have my own "swarm of honey bees" (all thanks to my good friend "major" & her squad) dressed in mini-skirt, giving away pamphlets, banners and my cute pictures. Any guy would willingly fall in line just to have a handshake, smell the aroma of my honeybees even kissing them if they surely sign in support of my candidacy.

The night before the day of voting, we had a public debate. I have confirmed that, like a barking dog, Harry just snarled with drools & exposed his tongue like Michael Jordan used to do while slamming the ball in the hoop. When it was my turn, I rose from my seat like a king, stood up like a prince and spoke as a noble man with compassionate heart and teary eyed while addressing my concern in our school. I have shared my dreams & visions of progress, I have laid to them my rules that Students will have the utmost freewill to do whatever they desire in campus that together hand in hand we can make a difference as my slogan states: "BEE-lieve in BEE ! and "BEE is the answer". That night is the very first night I've opened my hearts to the commoners.

Morning came and the voting commenced. I was excited to know the results and be proclaimed as "President Bee" so I went to the school as early as I can. As soon as I entered the campus gates, fireworks display and confetti has already been launched and banners bearing “congratulations” are everywhere. Then I heard our principal’s voice proclaiming Dirty Harry's name as the winner. I ran towards the stage, grabbed the microphone and contested the voting procedures. I have learned that Harry got 99% of the votes while I gained only ONE vote (probably that one came from me). I knew that Harry cheated but he just smiled and told me that I have to accept the fact that I've lost. Compared to his all night snarling, my speech was perfect, too perfect to be put in reality and the masses agreed that it is too superficial. Others claimed it was the idea of a nuts and an idiot like me. I looked around & saw my "honey-bees" were taken one by one by Harry's wild mongrels even they turned away from my side and left me. I left the event hating everyone for being stupid and not sharing my dreams of change. Surely, politics is dirty but even worse than that, are the citizens who are too naive and too stubborn to act for even a bit of change & hope for a better future.



Second Target: the Sporties "Jimmy the Goat"

There are a lot to choose from this category. Sports is everywhere from the physical body-aching sports to mind blowing games. Of course, choosing the physical makes you even "hotter" than the rest but my body isn't built for that, it is meticulously designed for a royal blood fitted to rule the hopeless humans around the campus. Well, I guess even royals need to bow down a little to gain power and respect to others. Choosing sports should be an easy one, even though how foolish are the game rules being implemented. Basketball, for example, is the most commonly played game in competitions. I don't know why would flirting girls need to scream whenever some lame guy made it to a hoop. C'mon it's just a ball throwing all over the places and running back & forth, so why scream so loud for those stupid acts? Martial arts like Karate, Juijutsu, Taekwondo & Boxing are sports that are exhilarating to watch. Seeing somebody kicking others' asses and hurting them down to their guts until they're knocked down is fun to be at---whether who will go down or who will emerge victorious.

The current title holder of the famous Sporty Guy goes to "Jimmy the Goat". He really looks like a big bully goat who likes to chew gums and spit everywhere. I really can't comprehend why the girls love his goofy looks. He doesn't comb his hair, doesn't brush his teeth, and maybe doesn't even take a bath. He's called a "skipper" in basketball games & in classes too. If "Major" is the Queen then this sly goat must be the King. It's time to dethrone him and it will be done by my own mighty hand.

So I made a public challenge to Him, I declared to fight on any sport we want but the rules are simple. We will write it down on a piece of paper and draw only one. Of course I would win; that Jimmy only knows basketball and he's not good at one-on-one style for he just stood there, not running much and sometimes "skipped" the game-plan (what an idiot). So I wrote down a dozen games I am good at, board games like chess, games of the generals, card trick games, backgammon and other patient mind games that are known in school. That stinky goat will be humiliated by my mind power when I finally face him.

The day came and we picked the game we will play. I made him the one who will draw the "mystery game" and let the official referee announce it at the maddening crowd. He finally draws it. That fool does not stand any chance on my probability of 1 out of 12. The referee announced it. It starts with the letter "B" ! I smiled alongside with the crowd "Bee" looks like my Backgammon Game is on... so I turned around and left. I was preparing myself in less than an hour for that fight when the referee stopped me. "Wait Mr. Bee, don't you want to know what game you'll be dealing with Mr. Goat?". What for? I'm sure I can beat him until he's unable to chew grasses anymore. And even if the game begins now, he'll be the loser. The referee was amazed by my courage, tapped my shoulder and bowed down. "Yeah go on, Mr. Referee, bow to me, I'm your new Sports King". The referee whispered on my ears and said, " I am proud of you. I'll be praying for your soul." and quickly announce the game," Ladies & Gentlemen, we will now see a classic heroism act of our challenger Mr. Bee to fight our Champion Mr. Goat! They'll be fighting the most exciting game ever allowed by our school administrator to released stress & anger towards one another. Let the first ever 3 round High School BOXING Competition begin" and it was followed by huge cheering from the crowd.

After hearing it, I melt down and almost collapsed. So much for my board games. I could see the goat bleat loud. Apparently that sly Goat's father is a former Flyweight District Champion "Jimbo the Stag" & beating his lame son Jimmy is his past time. So aside from basketball, his second sport is the gruesome boxing.

I didn't t know what exactly happened. The next thing I remember was the ringing bell for Round 1 of the game. I just recognized myself wearing boxing shorts, shirtless, with huge hand-gloves and he was on rage for the attack.

He made a swift right hand throw. but my instinct brought me to go low to avoid it. Then I noticed he's just too slow for my blinding speed. Everytime he made a punch I just dodge it swiftly, then I smiled. A ray of hope has gotten to my nerve and has rushed my adrenaline to attack him full force with my left-right Jab. Then I released a swift Straight-hook-Upper Cut combination. That surprise attack got him dizzy and he backed down. It's my one & final attack the "Liver Blow" that will send that goat back to the farm, eating grasses again. I smiled wildly, rushing towards his side body for that deathblow. I closed my eyes in delight.

When I opened my eyes, it felt like I was dreaming. I was staring at the ceiling. My body hurts from exhaustion. My right eye is aching. So I got the mirror and looked at myself. It was too horrible that I decided not to include in this blog what I did afterwards. That was the third day of my hospital admission. I’m treating my blotted face from the beatings of that chewing mammal. It took me 3 weeks to recover from that damage. So when I finally came back to school, I'm popular again with my pictures are all over the bulletin boards of every sports club with a heading of "Don't Bee a Loser". Seriously I wished I was dead.



First Target : Major Major Majorettes

  For the first step of my Blair "Bee" Project, I need to be popular in School as fast as i can, in that way, i could rise in seat of power ASAP. The easiest way for that to become reality is to have lots of subordinates, some low level group should be enough as long as i could be well-known at the campus.

  Brainwashing a group is easy, finding it is a piece of cake the hardest part would be choosing which one comes first. should i go for the Military type? or the politician wanna-be's? the brainy ones? the religious group? suicidal groups? sporties? dramatics? and the "Huh?-I-never-heard them-before." Its like choosing candies on candy store so valuable yet i need to get them one at a time. To be popular i need to have a "hot babe" that i could drag all over the campus & that this girl over here would make you wished your mother had picked-up a handsome father for you to get a chance of woo-ing her. So where else can i find that. its none other than the majorette club.

This club is somewhat familiar to the cheering squads of foreign countries, or the PEP Squad of Universities. It only composed of the hottest girls alive in the campus alongside with their talent of flirting & dancing. The one that they call the "major" is their group leader who possess the beauty unrivaled by no other. with vital statistics of  above average, She'll be my first target.

  Yes they are the most popular in & outside the campus with their mouth-watering dancing, short skirts, long hair  & shaking booty alongside with the rounding batons on their hands, they can make teenage boys desire to return to their mothers bosoms.So i made the first move to get to know one they called "major". Guys often were intimidated at her due to her beauty & reputation, but i know something that can make her  my first subordinate. Based on my research, beauty/talent don't come along with brains, because if that was true, our country should be the winning that International beauty pageant held every year. I agree that there's beauty being exotic, and rare talents of savagery  but I doubt if brains will ever follow them. As in this case the "major" being the daughter of Aphrodite herself lacks sleeping with books as their pillows, so one fine day while the "major" was alone, in the dressing room, 4 guys enter her domain & threatened to hurt her. the "major" who likes to play damsel in distress made a loud scream for help. Luckily i was passing by & heard it so i gave them all the beatings they deserved. after they're gone, i talked to the "major" the sweetest lies I've ever said. "This would never happened if you will only stay by my side, i would protect you and every member of your group if you would agree to be my subordinate, together you & I will be the Laws of this campus, & by that time you can let every guy kiss your dead toe nails at your feet, so what do you say partner?" She just cry, and went home. Two days later disaster comes along.

  Apparently the "major" heard the news that the attack made on her were planned & paid in full by the man nicknamed BEN. then she confronted the first man who entered in her bird brain let her daddy do the wrap-ups ( oh did i ever mentioned that her dad is the real Major in military ranks).

I spent 1 week in military camp experiencing cruel torture & pleading that I am not that BEN guy, It seems that majorette girl & her old man share the common brainwaves. although my full name is Benjamin im still just a harmless BEE what else can i do rather than aahhumm... sting?.at last they released me & thanks to them  I am now the most envied guy in the whole campus. That event is the talk of the town & no one can ever look at me directly in the eyes. Whenever i walked down the aisle they just whisper to themselves falsely accusations.."That Bee guy (fingers pointing at me) was literally dumped by the "major's" daddy, its a miracle he can still stand a piece.Talk about misfortune, I swear i will never lend my hand to any members of majorettes ever again.

The Blair "bee" Project

  After spending forever in grade school I finally stepped in High school where the unforgetable happens, Romance is just knocking on the closest door and finally a new life to start on with. to my dismayed, everything that i have gone thru in grade school, the name i have built in with still haunted me on my new life, I was the "unexpected one" the notorious guy. I guess that's the reason why a lot of my application in prestigious school were turned down its because Im too famous for them. ( & handsome :-P) So here I am on my tenth School in which I applied, I got accepted because some nice politician begged the School Administrator to give me a chance to stay at least a year in their institution & afterwards dumped me on some Charitable departments made solely for looser like me.

  High School life is much cooler than gradeschool. In here, puberty occurs where a shirtless boy becomes a Hunk, a toothless girl is transformed into a mesmerizing hot Chick, and a gay becomes a girl with a horrifying "Darthvader" voices. High School is where Shame comes to town alongside with his brother lust to every boy & every girl who call themselves Teen agers.

Lets skipped the cheesy part of courtships, crushes, love & infatuation those are ancient feelings even my late grandmother used to tell us even in her deathbed. Lets faced the ugly truth: When a teenage boy fell in-love for the first time, he felt the burning desire to be with the girl he loves; hold her, hugs, kisses... then what? does the romance stop there? surely the anatomy of human body are waiting to be explored by the two lovers. Then after sometime when the boy realized that there's no such thing as forever, they'll just made an excuses just like this: "Honey im sorry but you've got adams apple too". The same way when a teenage girl noticed their physical changes & began comparing it to their friends they become ashamed of themselves if they have smaller ones or in a state of slow metabolism.They become the future B&tc$#@ who only thinks of getting hotter & hotter until their bodies were consumed with Sulfur & Brimstones.But there are those who blossoms like gentle roses and for a guy who are destined to be "gentle"man.

Aside from this, in High School; students develop their skills in every other way, lessons getting harder & harder, competitions come and go, some are exposed in sports others in writing, speeches, debates, cooking, marketing, Acting, singing, dancing and even Knitting(i wonder why this category is included?) For the type of a guy like me I develop my best personalities like sulking, cheating in exams, cutting classes, wooing, lousiness and advance close encounters with the unknown.

  In as much as i dont agree with the school administrator's policy they placed me at the Pilot Section where two-faced beings are born naturally, geeks & nerds are a common type, Air heads and Assumptive pupils are what they're made of. I'm so out of their league, They can never matched my intelligence, my experiences and capabilities in terms of joking around and bullying people. later on that i realized the reason why I'm being placed on the most boring group I've ever had. It is to provide balance & harmony among these mere mortals.Soon they will bow down to my feet and start screaming my charming name.This is a challenged that i will never backdown, never in my life that i felt this urged to crushed each and everyone of them & finally be my ultimate subordinates. So I'm gonna start my perfect Evil plan the Blair "Bee" Project.They'll be sorry on their four years of High School Life & surely I'm the one with the last heinous grin on my face.

A"Bee"CD...

" School Sucks ! " for an idiot like me these are the words they will always tell whenever you asked them "how'd you doing in school?"

My mom was my first teacher she told me how to sing the alphabet, nursery rhymes and other songs that later on would be a requirement for me to recite before getting any meal for the day. one of my favorite is the Alphabet rhymes She told me that in order to memorize anything i should put up melodies on it, in that way reciting it would be "boring" oops i mean "fun".But the best advised she gave me is to able to like the thing you should do; put meaning into it & have contentment with it. So i put my name into the song for me to inspire singing it over & over again.

I used to sing the alphabet like this A, "Bee" C, D, E, F G, H, I, J,... followed by K, ELEMENOHPEE... Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,EXS, WHY & CEE.after singing it my tongue are all tied in knots and i was able to laugh due to the spitting drools whenever i sing.

"School is cool"  I love being in school, with my lunch box full of sandwiches and orange juice & money allowances they gave me for transportation from home to school and back.But the best part of it is being with your friends whom you played with, fight with and fell in-love with. Well i guess the only thing that makes the school sucks are the pesky humans called "Teachers".I am eager to learn, i love almost every subjects: Math Science, History, Sports, Physical Education, Recess and even the Dull one: Values & Morals.

In school i learn to survive and encountered shameful events of my life.This is where my social misfortune starts and as i go on of sharing my senseless stories i would eventually reveal some parts of it.

Well basically the main functions of teachers were to teach  & (brainwash) (oops no. 2) inspire their student that they could do something better in their future. We all have that special part to do in our future and it's up to our Mentors to mold and prepare us for it.

How do you define teachers? When i was in my grade school my teachers taught me how to cook, read, write inter-act with the opposite sex & they gave me an idea of what I am in 10-20 years from now, those are the good things. Alongside with it they made me see that life is unfair; that there was no Santa Clause, that the Tooth Fairy is actually "Gay", Pinocchio doesn't have nose & mickey mouse doesn't like cheese. We have to admit that teachers like most specially those talkative & loving children rather than the brainy & quiet ones. Teachers loves to be pampered by their class. they like it when they got a quiet lectures for they will not be caught that they are not prepared in their lessons. They love to give diffcult exams to show that they are a million miles ahead of their students, and finally they punished those who opposed their sovereignty & their laws. anyone who challenged their ancient traditions will be the "branded" as noisy or the chairman of the board and the best of them all is the Outstanding students ( those who stand outside the classrooms while lectures are on on-going).

Have you ever wonder why there's such a need for Cleaners by which done by the students? I mean we pay the institution to teach us and not to command us to clean-up the mess, sweep the floor & wipe their asses. The thing that i cannot accept is to be stayed after-school and writing on the board the words "I will not be noisy in class ever again" together with my full name on it. writing it a hundred times and erasing it after the principal saw it and laughed at it. Aren't ASSignments enough torture for students? those homework should be taught by the teachers on classrooms, so why do they let us students do the irritable research? and afterwards they will obliged us to "report" what we researched while they are sitting in the corner & "grading" us poorly. I really don't comprehend why would they be angry to those students who doesn't have the capability of researching and making an honest confession that they rather work than to listen with their stupid ideas.

Luckily i was one of those who opposed them so instead of finishing school early,They let me stayed for quite awhile. I graduated with flying colors of being notorious as the unfortunate boy or"he-who-must-not-be-named-or-else-you'll-be joining-him-outside". I have the highest awards for most Outstanding students, my butt is 2 inch bulged than before due to the slapping of sticks everytime i made any delinquent acts.

School Sucks that's what i know but my mom used to tell me find happiness on it and fight for what you believe is right.

P.S.

I used to be on my mom's Pupils List where everyday i "stand-out" in class

The Curious Case of Benjamin "Bee" Button

My mother used to read classic literatures. She told us several stories from classic author icons which she loves to retold over & over again especially during the unholy hours of the night. Well typical moms would tell stories of fairies, damsel in distress, prince charmings and bitches! oh, i mean witches.I wonder why would children nowadays would rather stuck their butt on computer online games than to sit next  to their grandparents and listen to the ancient love stories of their own adaptation. Now, one of the story she had relayed to us was all about this unfortunate guy who at the time of his birth looks old with wrinkles all over his skin (for morons like me its called Septuagenarian Infants) and died with flawless skin yet innocent as a child. Then before my mom end the story i asked her in the most sarcastic questions i knew back then: "hey mom, what's that got to do with us?" "oh dear" she replied " Haven't you realized it yet? that's where i got your name Bee." for a moment I think i left my jaw opened "Thanks mom, that totally sucks" then turn around and went in bed sulking.

In another conversation with her, which she usually avoids to answer was all about my good-for-nothing biological father. Well as you might know if I am the "Unfortunate Son" then i guess we all have the right to know who the real Son of the B*&^$ who brought me up into this mess. So here I am cleaning her room and off to her closest, drawers and cabinets. While doing that i've read several love letters from a certain guy named Brunelleschi. I asked her about him and she answered back with a slap on my face & a full-round kick in the ass.Stubborn as I am, i went to investigate and to see if this guy is trully my father. First I "Googled" (what a term) the name & found out that Brunelleschi guy is a famous renaissance geek. "oh so my father is an Italian Citizen... nice.!" I also asked several relatives, friends & neighbors from which my mother shared most of her days before she conceived me in her belly. A friend of my mother's friend told me that during those days she was always with that handsome man who always stay late at night for bar hopping and parties everywhere until one day, that man vanished without a trace and by that time my mom start to have pregnancy symptoms. " So that Guy really is such a piece of S^%$.

In another of my mom's treasured letters there was a farewell note to take care of the child she was bearing and asked her if she would named me to one of his favorite characters in her books. (If my mom's  favorite book were "Tarzan King of the Apes", "Mr Jekyll & Mr Hyde" or worst "Frankenstein" I wonder what kind of a funny  name do i have today?) the farewell letter might be from my father, but it was written by a man named Bruno. I laughed at that name, Bruno seems like the typical construction workers with well built muscle arms, shirtless guys, beard all over their faces, and awful smell of armpits long overdue of perspiration.Lucky for me that Bonehead Bruno guy left his address if ever my mom needs his comfort. So i get my keys and off to my bicycles to confront him.

At the front of his house to where i stand, i noticed that there's nobody home, i also asked the neighbors around if there was a man named Bruno who lived at that house. They all confirmed that it was Bruno's whereabouts but he often goes home and barely stayed their at night.So i waited until nightfall to find out who really is he. it was 3:00 am when i heard footsteps slowly approaching the porch of the house. I couldn't see clearly, well of course i hid myself first. I was about to approach that guy when a woman came to her first.

I was stunned. it was my mom waving at him."Brunelleschi its been a long time!" that was what i heared from her. What made my life collapsed was when i looked into that guy & wonder if Bruno & Brunelleschi are one. the man  after seeing my mom jumped with excitement and made a passionate kiss on CHEEKS! then made a gestures that any normal guy would be ashamed to do in public.

I leave the two of them for their chats. So much for the investigative parts, now i know the truth and it hurts me down to my masculine core. I've met my biological father but it's different from what i imagined. I wished I'd never cleaned my mother's room that day. Now i understand why she avoids those discussions. The father i once asked of her is certainly not the father i want her to give me.Perhaps in time i can accept it, who knows, I was just their mistake; when they were drunk and banged each other though they both knew that they both have women's heart inside. I may not have a father but atleast i knew i have two mothers. One is Biological and the other one is Botanical (dont have any words to compare to "it") Surely this is the most curious case i ever handled. I swear i wont play any detective games anymore.

Half Brothers

         My name is Bee. I was born on a stormy night of August where there's no electricity no hospital to go on & no happy life awaits me in my future. I wasn't born in a comfy bed or in a glimmering bathtub. my Mom that night has an urged to pee after celebrating her one & only daughter's birthday, right after she closed the door of their stinky toilet, a tiny whine has heard, yep that's me & my first angst in this world full of misery. It’s my birth day; rain is falling hard outside while inside of our home they are laughing at me together with my half brothers Pee & Poop.

So it goes that the child destined to be unfortunate, grew up fast. He was teased by his siblings whenever they go to the toilet for they would see his half brothers in the seat of misery, “I’ll say hi to them for you, after I let it out with a big fart” is what they always told Bee after they pulled down their pants and hoped that it would be an easy one discharging it.

Bee is not stupid as what they taught he would be, He learned from his mistakes, adjust in the circumstances and remain quiet a lot of times to contemplate the situation. He grew up not knowing his real father, often times he asked his mother about his daddy but his mother gave him a grim looked and walked away from him. When it’s time for bee to be in his “proper place” (which we all knew where) he called for his stinky brothers and talked to them for hours. That is where he gets his knowledge, his guts and his courage. They were hated by others but for him they were his bestfriends he found peace especially after the sweet long hissing sound of fart from the depth of his intestines.