But i have to endure, my legs are numbed my hands are shaking and my visions are somewhat blurred as i stare that tiny hoop above. I've been perspiring alot my naked body is soaked in mixture of sweat and perfume. Whether I stink or I smell good it doesn't matter to me. Because for now i only have one goal.
After those sleepless nights, frequent nightmares and lack of sleep, I decided that I should tire myself before hitting the bed. This is to let my body be weakened and long for a sweet sounding sleep. So i try sports. Although I am not good in any physical games, I know that it would tire me much faster than reading some boring books from Paulo C. and Stephen K.
So I choose to play the ever popular basketball. First, I bought some cheap basketball hoop with the logo of the renowned university who has been a consistent champion in the tournament. then I bought a plastic ball fitted for that ring (another cheap material). As soon as I'm home, I nailed it on a wooden post and started my childhood game by myself.
10,000 basketball good shots - that was my goal ! well at first I told to myself i can do it with perfection and endurance. but as days go on I 'm starting to get frustrated on my slow progress. I set up everyday schedules for this throwing 500 shots a day would requires me to complete it in 20 days or 3 weeks assuming i could hit it 500/500. The days will lengthen only if i made some poor shots and slow progress.
Every night after the stressful day of office works i would hold the ball and start shooting until i can no longer lift my hands. But still i was disappointed on my result. Then i started doing some stuff alongside with playing and meeting the daily quota.
Every shots i will throw are promises i have given to my self, to my loved ones, to my friends, to my enemies and other stuffs whether i have fulfilled it or not. This will enable me to think back and reflect on how worthless I am and the pain it bears will be felt again. But as i made a clean shot from the hoop it would mean I am released from that bondage or i would try to find the solution for it.
It was so hard and tiring, 100 attempts for free throws, 100 attempts from lay-ups 100 attempts from fast-break jump-shots and two hundred from anything goes ( 3-pointers, hook shots, fade-away and dunks [as if i could ] )
It was my fifth night of doing this stupid game. I'm still in my uniform i wear from the office, my hair are swaying and soaked in sweat. all i can hear is the noise from the bouncing of the ball from my hand to the floor into the hoop and back to my hand again. the last 2 nights i only made some 99 shots out of 1000 attempts. Pretty irritating huh, maybe basketball is not for me, but maybe those promises i have made from every person i know wasn't really for them. I might be the guy full of craps and all i can do is to let them count on my bitter-sweet lies sugar-coated from promises and assuring words of comfort.
Tonight, I haven't made any "basket count" maybe I'm thinking too much or maybe I'm too tired and stress for this or I just can accept the fact that i am an untalented guy that act as if I'm the heir of Michael Jordan.
If only i could make just one shot with "nothing but net", just a sweet sounding of the ball touching the net (swish) would make my feeling a little bit lighten from this unfavorable day.
10, 000 promises are the things that crushes my spirit and letting me drown from the mud. If only i could lifted it up then perhaps i could dream again and this time i wont make any promises that i cannot do. Maybe i might have a chance to be different and a true good man for them and for "Her"
My last shot for this night is a free throw. I concentrate hard and dribble the ball with caution raise my shivering hand and look straight to the hoop. As i stare far away i imagined "you" in the sky guiding my hand as i throw the ball. It made a beautiful arc a perfect release towards the hoop. I close my eyes and turn around, pick up my towel and head on for a shower. A pure gentle smile is on my lips for i swear heard the sound i longed for this night.
Did i made the last throw? well i should say yes if that's what i want, but it's up to you if you'll believe whether i told the truth or another of my fancy promises and extra ordinary stories.
Oh by the way, tomorrow i'll start by counting at 100.
swish
his airness
"In your face"
Am I still on Camera?
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