The other night I've dreamed about "Remy"(not her real name) for all i know Remy is a sweet shy lady with a beautiful smile and melodic voice that I've only heard thrice in my entire life. To make the long story short, We both fell in love with each other but after a year I decided to let go of her for her own good. i
It pains my heart to do this decision, but i really love her and i want the best for her. We parted our own ways in a romantic dance while giving her a tight embrace that up to now i still feel it and regretting the mistake I have made.
After Twelve years, she found me in my dreams. It was a lonely dark night on a street full of dim lights where people with heart broken used to go and drown themselves in alcohol. I entered the room just in time for their premier singer to give a once in a life time performance. So i waited for the lady whom everyone is so excited to see on stage. Then there she was, with her sweet smile and her petite moving, I have easily recognized her. She started to sing with those melodic voices she possess that i treasured in my heart. she was dancing as the crowd were captivated from her charm. then she stop and look at me or i guess on the direction to where I am standing. she gave me a nod and another of her gentle smile. She walked towards me as the crowd looked into us wonder who the heck I am.
Her words that echoes in my ear as she softly whisper "remember me?" just as i was about to say " yes", my mom snatched my pillow that Im hugging tight.
Dream #2
Last night just as i was expecting to have a nice dream again probably the continuation of that dream or maybe from another setting that im familiar with. This time I was taken back much farther than my earlier dream. I was in my Grade School Campus, seeing my old friends and classmates doing stuffs we havent done for so long, playing, shouting, bullying, eating junk foods and other notable stuff for any typical kids. But the problem is I am aware of myself as an adult. Just as i am having fun with these reminiscing dream, I saw a woman was shouting at me telling me to come over. so I approached her and told her what she want.
"You have got to come home now Bee ! " she said. "Why, what's the matter? looking worried yet smiling.
"Its about your father" "My father, but He's-" she cut me off "We rushed him to the hospital he had another heart attack and he was unconscious, we have informed your mom and she's on her way to the hospital she told me to look for you and get you home quickly."
I knew in my mind that my father is dead yet by hearing that same news it gives me a stirring pain in my heart hot tears rolled than on my face as I ran hoping to catch up with them. I ran until i hit the wall in my bed and then i woke up just like that.
Two dreams with different settings and different emotions that i never knew it would greatly affected me.
Before i close my eyes and dreamed my first dream I am thinking about "Gwen"(again not her real name) and I'm trying to etched in my mind the wonderful times we had spent together. But to my surprise, "Remy" comes out. I've been thinking about it the whole day and what meaning it has that i need to know at this point of time.
Her words "remember me? seems like an odd thing. Of course I've always remember her, she was my first love relationship that i take seriously. Maybe what she meant was to remember her and the times I have spent together (if there's any) and the lessons we both learned from each other.
The Second one was about the final hour i have knew of my father's death. How the bad news that sent my emotions upside-down and despair would crawl in my emotion. The funny thing about it is that i knew that I am an adult with lots of experiences in life. But as always I act as a coward and denying the truth. I really want to see my father and told him how much i missed him. But I do not want to see him again in a suffering state. I would like to see Him once more in a happy and proud state just like any parents whose waiting for their children to come closer and carry them in their loving arms.
But why that tragic death over and over again. I've been dreaming that scenario for four times already and the more i remember it the more my heart sink into deep remorse.
Maybe those dreams are telling me something what i should do and yet i do not want to do. maybe I'm afraid to hope for a better tomorrow (again if there's one for me) Just maybe the joy and that sweet feeling will last when i truly give in to what my dreams are demanding me to do.
-To let go.
Or maybe I'm wrong, what do you think?
with a smile on your face
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